Thursday, 7 June 2007

Check Your Ego At The Door!

During some conversations today at our youth departments staffie we chatted about the need to give honest feedback (and don't Christians suck at giving honest feedback... everything is just 'great').

I can not think of a more helpful tool for growth than getting critical feedback from the right people (of course there are always people who feel the need to pull you down but we aren't talking about them).
So here are a few simple keys to opening up your life to the precious gift of feedback:

  • Ask for feedback (from those qualified to give it)... give them permission to give you critical feedback. Let them know that you really want it. Seek it out often.
  • Appreciate the feedback (most people who ask for feedback actually don't want to hear how they can improve. The greatest test of this is receiving feedback from those 'under' you!) Don't allow your ego to get in the way of your growth.
  • Don't try to defend your actions... just take note of the corrections needed (this doesn't mean that you have to act on every suggestion... just that you are taking note and are open to the corrections given).
  • Appreciate the feedback verbally.
  • Apply the feedback. There is no greater sign of your thankfulness for the feedback given than applying the given correction to your life.
May your life be filled with feedback... and resulting growth!

Tomorrow we shall look at how to be the giver of feedback.

I look forward to your comments and personal stories on this subject : )


Cat said...

Feedback indeed is a wonderful thing. Sorry to have missed staffie! I promise to be there next week =). My question is what do you do when you ask people for feedback consistently and they do not respond in anyway other than a positive fashion? I have directly told about 5 of my closest friends repeatedly that they have complete rights to speak into my life any truths that they feel I need to hear. Problem is maybe 2 will actually pull me up on things or suggest areas to improve. What do you do when people won't use the bridge they have built???

By the by as I'm fairly certain you know feel free to say whatever whenever to me!!!

Rhys said...

Hey bro,

Good thoughts, haha often pretty hard to handle when you get feedback.

Definitely requires humility on the reciever and respect on the one giving it.

Have a look at my blog if you get the time, love to have your feedback :)

Take care down in Hammy, let us know when you're coming to the promised land of the North Shore again :D

Rhys Lake

Clive Smit said...

About peeps not giving you feedback...

Yes, this is a counter cultral thing in the Christian world which some Christians will have great difficulity navigating.

Giving feedback requires quite the self confidence and skill in that area (so that you feel qualified to give the actual feedback). There is also perhaps the understanding that... really most people actually don't want the feedback even though they say that they do.
To overcome this... talk up those who have given you critical feedback... your mates will soon catch on that you value this highly.

Hope it helps...

loukness said...

Clive, you said "The greatest test of this is receiving feedback from those 'under' you!) Don't allow your ego to get in the way of your growth."

That is very helpful to keep in mind. I'm currently in a subordinate position where I sometimes wish I had the liberty to give more feedback than I can. However, I remember a previous position where I had many people under me. I think I might have fallen short in receiving feedback from them. It is strange how the same thing frustrating me might have been a cause of frustration for others.

Matt said...

comment this:

Clive Smit said...

Hey Matt, I can't view your profile... how about allowing me into the circle of trust : )