How To Be Iron In Someone's Life

Pro 27:17 CEV (17) Just as iron sharpens iron, friends sharpen the minds of each other.

This is an often quoted Scripture, but not an often well lived out Scripture. Lets start a revolution that changes all of that!

Yesterday we spoke about how to receive feedback into your life... today we will look at how to give feedback.

• The motive for giving feedback must originate from your love for the person and your desire to see that person grow
• Always ask permission before offering your feedback. An example ask would go something like, "Jim, if you would like, I have some feedback for you from when you ...". You simply put it out there that you have feedback and then leave it up to the other person to ask you if they would like to hear it.
• Do give feedback face to face. (I have learnt the hard way that e-mails can be read the way the person is feeling at that moment!)
  
• Don't overload the person with too much feedback. One or two points is sufficient for the person to go back and work on. anymore than this can just feel overwhelming.
  
• Sandwich the feedback with genuine praise and encouragement. (we tend to remember negatives 4X more than we do positive feedback).
• Some people do not like receiving the feedback immediately. Perhaps a day or two after the event would be more appropriate (unless of course their behaviour is inappropriate).
  
• Feedback should be given within 2 weeks of the event or the person won't remember what you are talking about.

I hope this helps. Let us know how it goes!

Check Your Ego At The Door!

During some conversations today at our youth departments staffie we chatted about the need to give honest feedback (and don't Christians suck at giving honest feedback... everything is just 'great').

I can not think of a more helpful tool for growth than getting critical feedback from the right people (of course there are always people who feel the need to pull you down but we aren't talking about them).
So here are a few simple keys to opening up your life to the precious gift of feedback:

• Ask for feedback (from those qualified to give it)... give them permission to give you critical feedback. Let them know that you really want it. Seek it out often.
  
• Appreciate the feedback (most people who ask for feedback actually don't want to hear how they can improve. The greatest test of this is receiving feedback from those 'under' you!) Don't allow your ego to get in the way of your growth.
  
• Don't try to defend your actions... just take note of the corrections needed (this doesn't mean that you have to act on every suggestion... just that you are taking note and are open to the corrections given).
• Appreciate the feedback verbally.
  
• Apply the feedback. There is no greater sign of your thankfulness for the feedback given than applying the given correction to your life.

May your life be filled with feedback... and resulting growth!

Tomorrow we shall look at how to be the giver of feedback.


I look forward to your comments and personal stories on this subject : )